things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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