yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
