first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
