I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize