I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
