shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
