My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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