well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
