i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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