I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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