You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize