he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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