Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
