I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
