piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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