I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
