would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
