He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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