Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
