guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
