god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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