i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
