Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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