We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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