Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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