Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
