I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
