how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
