I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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