Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
