yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
