Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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