We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
