I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
