Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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