I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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