either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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