Whod you bang
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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