what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
