His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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