i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
