Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am one with the molecules
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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