chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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