How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
People with herpes should wear stickers.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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