I need to stop coming to work sober
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
