The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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