sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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