Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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