Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
