Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
