He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
