its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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