Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
