also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Operation Purity has been aborted
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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