who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize