So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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