He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
