Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
