it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i will never coherently bang her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
