Non-Jews are for practice
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
