Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
