Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
