I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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