I'm gonna have a badass scar
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
