i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
