I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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