i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
