she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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