I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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