I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
