im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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