You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
