I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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